The 'No Pinky' Defense

It's almost as 'rich' as the twinky defense.

CSI: Miami has never really been the epitome of reality. Nor , for that matter, has any incarnation of the CSI franchise. I've taken to searching the internet if I see something interesting on an episode of one of the CSI's just to see if it actually exists, or if it's simply something the writers made up to get the plot flowing smoothly.

On to the heart of the matter:

Two things in particular got me riled up as I watched episode thirteen of CSI: Miami's eighth season simply titled, "Die By the Sword." The first, and more easily overlooked transgression of the show, was the assertion that any folded steel blade must belong to a Katana, the weapon of choice for Samurai warriors during Japan's feudal period and, conveniently, Japanese mobsters in present day Miami.

As a matter of fact, many Asian swords employed the same metallurgical composition. Similar techniques were used in Europe and West Asia (the Middle East) since the beginning of the Iron Age. Furthermore, many modern sword makers employ folded steel in their creations, whether the work is Asian influenced or not.

But be that as it may, the more laughable assumption put forth by this show is that the removal of one's pinky finger, or both, impairs you to such an extent that you could not possibly, ever, kill someone with a sword. You can ride a motorcycle, sure, but swing a sword at an unarmed white guy with his back turned to you as you ride up? Surely not. . .

The worst use of this blind assertion comes when our hero, Horatio, questions the leader of the Japanese mafia (but they aren't the Yakuza for some odd reason) and the man says something to the effect of:

"Look, officer, I couldn't even have lifted a sword because I don't have any pinky fingers."

Really? And no one questions that?

I can see how the lack of a nearly vestigial appendage could possibly affect fine control of a sword, say in a fencing match, but how could it make it impossible to hold a sword?

Here's an experiment for you kiddies to do at home. Get out your broom, hold it in one hand at the point where it balances. Good, now lift your pinky off. Did the broom fall to the floor? Can you still swing the broom?

The claim: You need your pinky fingers to kill someone.

My verdict: I don't buy that, and neither should you.